At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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