I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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