well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
