hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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