i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
