After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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