Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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