covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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