No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
