this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
