update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
