Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
