Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize