ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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