Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
