The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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