i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
