Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize