she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
