Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
bring money and cleavage
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
