ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just googled if crying burns calories
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
