she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
is it fun? or sober?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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