they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
