If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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