Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
