It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
