3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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