I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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