My nipple is on Facebook.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
