y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I cannot find my penis.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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