thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize