Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
