hotel room ftw
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
