hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
