Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
