My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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