I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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