Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Randomize
