My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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