I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
