guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
