They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
