the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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