im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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