I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
