and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
your room smells of hookers.
And success
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
