I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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