He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
