AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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