How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
