is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
