five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
