halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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