Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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