What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
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