My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
