I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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