In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
