I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
