I didn't shave. On purpose
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
